What is the purpose of my writings? That question has always intrigued me. And it goes even deeper to: what is the purpose of my study? Is it true that I want to search the truth? Or is it just to makes me feel better? Like a new hobby, a new toy to me. And about the writings and all their publicities, what is it that I aim for? Do I wish to spread the truth? Is it just a share? Or perhaps it was just some ego of to be seen as the one who knows more? And upon thinking about that, I finally reach some conclusion.
It doesn’t matter how good and systematically proven my writings are. It will get the job done to explain my ideas but the reader will still only grasp them to a point of logical reasoning. What I am trying to communicate is something that can only be seen by those who has finally choose to seek for it and discover it “by themselves” in this chaotic journey of life. So it doesn’t matter whether they agree or not, because even when they do agree, they will still not “see” what I “see”. And worse when they don’t agree, it will trigger some meaningless theological debates that will lead to nowhere since they haven’t seen what I have seen anyway and hence will never speak in the same “language”.
Understanding something merely with logic is entirely different with actually “seeing” it. And since the beginning, Anthony de Mello can’t describe it better when he said, “Observe, then you will understand” or shall I say truly “sees” it. Bhodidharma the founder of Shaolin temple, upon finishing his nine-year meditation and reach enlightenment said to his disciples “There is no use of logical and theological reasoning. To reach enlightenment, one shall just practice diligently until one finally understand”, and in martial art, practicing will always leads to self-observation, it is a tool used by the Buddhist monks to assist themselves to be more “observant” about the law of nature.
And even Jesus said something regarding how hard it is to speak of the truth to those who haven't experienced it first hand when he said, “The reason I speak to them in parables is that seeing they do not perceive, and hearing they do not listen, nor do they understand” (Matthew 13. 13, NRSV), and so “Jesus told the crowds all these things I parables, without a parable he told them nothing” (Matthew 13. 34, NRSV), and hence the parables about the Kingdom of Heaven (scattered everywhere in all four gospels).
So now I will make my vows about my attitude in theological writings:
- I shall not write to prove that I am right and the others are wrong.
- I shall not write with expectation to be fully understood.
- I shall not write to satisfy my ego to be seen as the one who understands more and gain pride from it.
- I shall write as a result of my natural learning process and as a way to systemize my understanding.
- I shall write as literal records about my learning process so that I can one day reanalyze them in my future study.
- I shall write as an expression of my awe toward the grandiosity and sacristy of the Word of God.
- I shall write only from The Spirit.
"A bird doesn't sing because he has a statement. He sing because he has a song" - Anthony De Mello
2 comments:
Sometimes, writing purposeless is better. You just write the honest thing in your mind, that will gave more taste n color in ur words.
Y u want to write? Which mood u're turning when u write? Based on that, i think will be lively rather than u had to thinking deep and gave audience difficult artistic words, but hard to get.
Hummm..My head works funnily..those writings have circulating in my head for months..so the idea is spontaneous and original..but if I write with no back up from an approved resource (like bible and its commentary)..then I'm it will stand no chance when argued..that is why I think deeply when addressing serious matters..and at the same time removed every mood and emotional aspect from it so that I can write in a cristal clear perception..
But yes..at the same time..it also cause them to be too "scientific" while most people needs to be moved emotionally..humm..gotta work hard on that one since it has never been my style..
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